Pitcher Full of Lemonade

Issue #9 October 2013

Pitcher Full of Lemonade

We’ve all heard the quote, “If life gives you lemons, make lemonade,” and we all know how challenging that can be! Since the last issue of Prodigal’s Daughter, which is now The Prodigal Writer, I’ve received some humongous, over-ripened, curl-your-mouth-inside-out lemons. So I’m trying to turn those lemons into lemonade. I’ve taken an unexpected unemployment, mixed it with too much time on my hands and sweetened it with a lot of writing. I completed several pieces and submitted them for publication in the last two months. How about you? Have you found a way to work your writing into the limited hours left after your nine-to-fiver? I hope so. It’s what gives each of us hope for something better tomorrow, or the day after, or the month after that, or the year after that. Maybe publication! But publication requires patience, so be productive, but also be tenacious!

I just completed a story I’m submitting to Glimmer Train’s Standard Submissions called The Battle of Straight Lines. It’s about 7,500 words long and it’s a story about Basic Training. I won’t know for sure if it’s accepted until December 31^st. Check out Glimmer Train online at http://www.glimmertrain.com/ishig.html. They have regular writing contest you can for a fee, but they also have Standard Submissions in January, May and September which is free. The rewards are well worth the effort.

Last month I wrote a 1,000 word piece for Gemini Magazine’s Flash Fiction Contest (I won’t hear back from them until October) and A Love of Life: A Dog’s Story, a 2,000 word essay for Wag’s Revue’s Summer Writing Contest. Gemini Magazine has regular contests for short stories, flash fiction and poetry. Their entry fee is very reasonable and the work they publish is really good. You should check them out too at http://gemini-magazine.com/. I love the stories in Wag’s Revue (http://www.wagsrevue.com/)! They have contests for essays, short stories and poetry. It’s another excellent venue for writers.

I posted a new blog to Must Read, Must See Books and Movie about the Rapture Trilogy by Phillip W. Simpson, (www.mustreadmustsee.blogspot.com) and, oh, and by the way, I also finished my novel, A Long Winter’s Night. Watch for it in November at Amazon. I still have to write that difficult synopsis and start researching agents. All in all, a productive, if non-financially rewarding month. But that’s the way it is with writing: you work your butt off to produce a decent piece, but you have to wait a month or more before you know if it’s going to get published. Then you have to wait until it’s published to get paid. Now, on to business.

The Prodigal’s Daughter, Now a Blog

I decided that Prodigal’s Daughter should now be a blog which will make previous versions more accessible. I’ve had to rename it to Prodigal Writer because my original name was already taken. It will still be a quarterly newsletter available to the public and it will still be linked to my FaceBook page, so join us there, too. The Prodigal Writer will still contain suggestions for improving your writing and getting published, as well as the Writing Challenges to stimulate your imagination.

Changes in PD Contributors’ Corner

The Change: Limited Access

I’m changing the distribution policy for Contributors’ Corner. Now you will only receive the Contributors’ Corner portion of The Prodigal’s Writer IF you have joined us an active writer and request to be included for editing and comments. If you want to JOIN our online writing group, select “Join Contributors’ Corner” on the right. Members will be encouraged to contribute their writing for review and evaluation by other members of the group, plus they will be expected to add their opinion about other writers’ work via responding email. Comments will be included in the next Contributors’ Corner newsletter along with the piece being evaluated. Contributors’ Corner will be a monthly newsletter for active writers ONLY and will include your submitted pieces. If you’re still working up the nerve to face the publication lion, that’s okay. We’re here to help you tame the beast and grow as a writer. Having others evaluate your work is an excellent step to getting brave enough to submit work for publication. Rejection is tough and part of the business, so start with people who care enough to be gentle.

Contributor’s Corner will no longer be available online at Facebook or any other venue.  If you don’t join, you won’t be included in any future emails.

Why?

We want to protect our working writers and help them get published. Since most publishers want fresh pieces that have not been “published” in print or electronic format, only active members of this writers’ group will have access to anything written by its members. So let’s talk about the craft of writing.

Focus Your Stories

Writer’s Digest often has really good advice from authors who have already transversed the mine fields of writing. I strongly suggest you sign up for their newsletters. That’s how I came across “The Story Idea Map”. It was part of a free download from the book Novel in 30 Days. I’m not so sure I can complete my next novel in 30 days, but the “Story Map” helped me stay focused for the last two stories I wrote. I used the map in conjunction with my own “Plot Graph” to keep me on track as I wrote. Below are examples of the “Story Map” and “Plot Graph” I used to write The Battle of Straight Lines.

Story Map & Plot Graph Examples

 

 

Notice that the Plot Graph is already set up to estimate the word count for each spike in your story. This is a handy tool to make sure the timing of the conflict will keep your readers’ attention. If you’re a Member of Contributors’ Corner, I’ll email you the Excel spreadsheet that you can alter and use as needed. If you haven’t tried composing at the computer, try it now. It makes keeping track of your work count 100 times easier because it keeps a running total at the bottom of the screen. This will help you condense your writing and eliminate unnecessary phrases.

Next fill in the main points that should be covered within each step of the story. If you know you only have 350 words to write something that will grab the reader’s attention, put that on your story map and watch your writing as you go. Get used to questioning yourself. Would I continue reading a story with this beginning? Or would I pass it over? When you know your introduction can only last for those first 700 words, you know to make those words count. The same is true for the First Plot Point. Don’t take my word for it!

“First Plot Point needs to happen at about the 20^th to 25^th percentile of the story.”

From

“The Most Important Moment in Your Story”

A guest blog by Larry Brooks

Posted by Stephanie Shackelford

Published in Craft

 

Try this technique as you write your next story. Writing Challenge 9 is below. Remember you must Join Our Writing Group to participate and to see works by other writers.

 

Until next quarter, live well, love fully and write with all your heart!

Rhodes Fitzwilliam

Writing Challenge #9: Spring into Action!

Any work we submit now probably won’t get published until Spring 2014. So for this writing challenge, I want you to pick any topic, setting, plot you wish, as long of you link it to what spring means to you. You are NOT to write specially about the spring season or even allowed to use the word in your stories or essays. I want the way you write, the feel of the words as they grow off the page, to provide the SENSE of spring without ever saying it.

Here are two possible venues for submitting your work:

1.       Wag’s Revenue (http://wagsrevue.com/submit) is in the midst of their Standard Submission, which is September, October and November. The compensation is $100 for interviews, poetry, essays or short fiction. Word limit is usually 2,000,

2.      American Short Fiction (http://americanshortfiction.org/submityourwork/) accepts regular submissions year round, plus runs writing contests. Submissions for the online magazine are limited to 2,000; however submissions to their triannual print magazine may be longer.

3.      Contributor’s Corner is own our writing group. We do not publish or pay for the stories, but we do edit and critique your piece to help you grow as a writer. You MUST be a member to participate. Send your stories to  us by October 25^th for critiquing. Remember to put "Writing Challenge #9" in the subject box.

Definitely read some of the other stories in both Wag’s Revue and American Short Fiction. Each magazine tends to have its own preferred style of story for their audience. Remember, we are selling to a specific audience. Don’t forget them as you write.

 

Endings That Cheat

Issue 8: July 2013

Endings That Cheat Lose Readers

Have you ever read a book that you enjoyed until you reached the end, and then you felt cheated? In the April issue of The Prodigal’s Daughter, I recommended the book TheHost by Stephenie Meyer. This young adult novel offers an intensified view of inner conflict, through the story of a violent human host, Melanie Stryder, struggling to reassert her will over an invading alien named Wanderer. This conflict paints humans as violent creatures whose anger overrules reason, while at the same time depicting the body-snatching aliens, called “souls”, as benevolent creatures who “improve” the worlds they invade. While we fierce humans can see part of the truth in that scenario, it can also be offensive. Luckily, Meyer balances the negativity by having humans learn to “use their words” instead of their fists and by having aliens learning to love humans. By the time we near the end of the story, Melanie and Wanderer actually become friends. Wanderer feels guilty for hijacking Melanie’s body, so she decides to vacate the premises. After this, the plot leaves the reader feeling cheated.

I know this novel is written for young adults, but teenagers aren’t stupid and, in today’s society, they aren’t naive either. The plot is set up from the beginning as a win-lose situation from the body-snatching aliens versus alien-killing humans to the two men, Jared and Kyle, in love with different women in one body, Melanie’s body. We expect someone to lose and someone to win. We expect someone to be noble and, since “the souls” are the epitome of nobility, we expect it to be them. We also expect either Jared or Kyle to walk away with a broken heart because none of us can have our cake and eat it too. But that’s not the way the story ends and we are left feeling cheated. Cheated from our victory; cheated from our noble self-sacrifice, and cheated from our no-pain, no-gain reality. Now it’s going to be difficult for me to pick up another Stephanie Meyer book.

Since this is not a book review and I’m only talking to a handful of venturing authors, I’ll tell you the ending. Jared, Kyle and others in the friend-of-Wanderer club find her a new body, one that isn’t inhabited by another alien or by a human with long-term residency. No, they find her a beautiful, flawless young thing that is somewhere between fairy princess and Christmas tree angel. A body that almost makes Kyle a pedophile and, in one fell swoop, allows everyone to have the happy ending of their dreams. And that’s just what it is….a dream! Meyer turns a good story with a lot of potential for drama and moral lessons into a story with happily ever after more suitable to grade-school children.

Yes, I’m a disappointed reader, but as authors we should also learn from this writing mistake. Love hurts. Life sucks. At times we win; at times we lose. And an ending that cheats closes the door on readership.

 

Writing Challenge # 8 Write Your Little Hearts Out

Have I been remiss in challenging you to write? Let me remedy that now! Our goal as writers is to get PAID to have our work published. Whether that means submitting to a contest or a paying publisher doesn’t matter. You have to write, improving your work as you go along, and SUBMIT work someplace. Yes, this means chancing rejection. It’s a difficult blow to take, but if you don’t risk it, you’ll never gain the rewards. As I said above in  “Endings That Cheat”, we live in a no pain-no gain society. So get ready to toughen your skin and go for the gains.

Though I’ve been reading at lot and publishing my own work via blogging book reviews and working on my novel, I have also been lazy these past few months about actually submitting my for pay of any kind. That’s about to change because I, too, want the financial gain that publishing can bring. So let’s be specific about that gain. How does $1, 250 for 5,000 words sound? Is that enough to challenge all of us to write and submit a short story? That’s what Tor.com is offering for speculative fiction. They pay 25 cents per word up to 5,000; then they pay 15 cents per word up to 12,000 words. I don’t know about you, but I could put an extra thousand  or so dollars to good use. So I challenge you to write a speculative fiction AND SUBMIT it to Tor.com. Their submission guidelines can be found at: http://www.tor.com/page/submissions-guidelines. And don’t cheat your reader with cheesy endings!

Remember, we’re not competing against one another. We’re competing with every well-written, frequently-published author who has ever made an appearance on Tor Magazine’s website. We can work together, helping each other with honest, constructive criticism of each other’s stories. Remember these are stories that ONLY those who submit to PD Contributors’ Corner will ever read. These stories won’t be published on the Rhodes FitzWilliam FaceBook Page and no one will see them unless they are part of this writers’ group. For this challenge we’re saving ourselves for Tor. So if you don’t submit, you won’t get the critique and you won’t be able to comment on other authors’ works. This is for active writers only. Here’s a reminder of our sharing guideline and our deadlines for drafts and comments.

Sharing Guidelines:

Copy/paste your story into the body of your email with “Writing Challenge 8” in the subject box and send it to:

1^st Draft Due Date: July 26, 2013

To be shared in August Issue of PD Contributors’ Corner. Once I’ve sent out PD Contributors Corner to our writers’ group, each of you should read and make comments/suggestions in an email back to me. These comments will be included with the draft to which they pertain in the next edition of PD Contributors’ Copy.

Comments Due Date: August 23^rd

To be distributed in September.

Final Draft Due Date: September 20^th

To be shared with the group in October. These final drafts should be edited by each author and ready for submission to Tor Magazine. We’ll anxiously wait to see if Tor publishes any of our manuscripts. Be sure to let me know if you get accepted!

By Tor’s own admission, they are slow to respond, so we’ll have to be patient. That means, we’ll occupy our time with Writing Challenge #9 in the November Issue of The Prodigal’s Daughter!

Comment Guidelines:

Remember that the goal of a writers’ group is to help each other improve our writing skills, so focus your comments on what works in the story and what doesn’t. As writers we might know the story we want to tell, but that may not reach our readers.

·       Let the author know what you liked about the story. Did you like the idea? The characters? Did anything touch your heart about the story? Did you laugh, cry or were you unaffected?

·       Tell the author about any places in the story that “tripped” you up as a reader. Is more information needed? Is the wording funny or difficult? Does the story make any point?

·       Do NOT make derogatory comments about the author or his/her intelligence or skill level. Comments that are excessively negative or simply mean spirited WILL GET YOU BUMPED OFF THE NEWSLETTER mailing list.

Make It Immediate & Present

Issue 7: April 2013

Make It Immediate & Present

In today’s fast-paced, cybernized, Twitter-it-now world, it can be difficult to get a reader’s attention and keep it. We are all so dazed by the multiple e-mails, instant messaging, newsletters and podcasts that there is little time for the new kid on the net, especially if the new kid doesn’t capture the reader’s attention. So the two challenges we face as writers are) 1 getting the reader’s attention in between those multiple light speed communications and 2) keeping their attention once we have it.

The first issue of getting attention is in a category of its own: marketing. We writers tend to be weak in that area, but we can all improve as we go along. We can definitely improve the second issue of keeping attention by doing what we do best: work on our writing technique. One of the techniques I’ve noticed in popular fiction is the use of present tense. “Andy runs through the dense jungle” as opposed to “Andy ran through the dense jungle.” Present tense has the advantage of placing the characters and action in the here and now. It gives readers the feeling immediacy that encourages their attention. It also reduces your word count, especially if you’ve been using past perfect. That last sentence is a perfect example. “If you use past perfect,” instead of “If you have been using past perfect.” Bam! Three words are reduced to one!

In the last issue of The Prodigal’s Daughter I talked about The Hunger Games and character. Well, The Hunger Games is an example of a novel written in present tense. I enjoyed the book so much I decided to use present tense in my novel-in-process, A Long Winter’s Night. I edited the entire manuscript, changing past and past perfect tenses to present tense and guess what… I cut about 200 words out of each chapter and tightened the writing at the same time. However, I didn’t change the flashback scenes to present tense. I left them in past tense to help the reader know that these events happened before my opening page.

I’m currently reading The Host The Host: A Novel by Stephenie Meyer. She uses this technique in reverse. The sequences written from “the souls” point of view are in past tense, while the scenes written from “the hosts” point of view are in the present tense, even though they occur prior to the soul taking over the host. The beauty of this reversal is that it makes the hosts seem more immediate, more important, more prescient than the souls. Kudos to Stephenie Meyer for applying the tense-shifting technique to focus on her heroine! Though I’m only on Chapter 5, I recommend you read this interesting twist on Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

 

Writing Challenge #7: Swim Little Fishes, Swim!

So did any of you take the plunge into the deep end and submit a story for publication? Remember, sink or swim, accepted or rejected, that’s why we write. You can’t earn the cash unless to take that risk. I’ll admit it…I haven’t submitted anything since January 2013. I could get on a guilt trip about it, but that won’t change anything. So if you, like me, didn’t accept last issue’s challenge, there’s always today. In the every present hope’s of reaching our writing goals, here’s another challenge. Come on little fishes and swim with me! The sharks may be big and scary, but even little piranha have teeth!

Building Character & Plot

Issue 6 January 2013

Building Character & Plot

We are continuing our discussion on character and plot in this edition. As we all know, if readers don’t care about the character, they aren’t likely to read the story. Conversely, the readers may care about the character, but if nothing happens, we’ve still lost them. There is a delicate balance that we need to maintain between character and plot. I like the way Larry Brook put it:

“When what the hero believes is her reality experiences a sudden shift.  Suddenly there’s a new deal on the table that sends your hero down an altered, unexpected path…. The more invested the reader is in the characters… the more the stakes of the story have been made relevant to those characters…”

From The Most Important Moment in YourStory

 – a guest blog by Larry Brooks

Posted by Stephanie Shackelford  on

 “Routines for Writers” Published in Craft

Brooks says this shift in the character’s experience should occur with the first 20-25% of the story. He calls it the First Plot Point and the point in the story where we need to captivate our audience. So while we’re concentrating on endearing our character to the reader, we must also think about what situation will occur to cause this shift.

As an example, I’ll use Katniss, a very popular character from the best-selling novel by Suzanne Collins’  The Hunger Games. Katniss’ most endearing traits are that she is strong, yet self-effacing, and she loves her family. Katniss’ shift in reality comes when her younger sister, Prim, is chosen from the lottery of tributes to participate in the fatal Games and suddenly Katniss is compelled to volunteer in order to save her sister.

Now writers can’t just come out and say the character loves their family if they want the audience to truly understand that character. The readers have to SEE these characteristics in action, through the character’s movements, the choices he or she makes and his or her reactions to others. Let’s take a look at Katniss through the actions that define her.

Collins SHOWS us that Katniss loves her family in several ways. It’s not just in the way Katniss volunteers for the Games in order to save Prim’s life. It’s the way she pushes through the difficulties of losing her father, and essentially her mother, when she is twelve. Katniss could have become bitter towards her mother, who sinks into an immobilizing depression. She could have just shared the food with Prim and refused to give any of the scant supplies to her mother. But she didn’t. Katniss scavenges for food in garbage cans, at the edge of the forest, and eventually learns to hunt to keep her whole family alive. It’s the way Katniss buys food for her family by adding her name extra times into the Games lottery, increasing her chances of being called to fight and die for others’ entertainment. The reader respects Katniss’ choices and understands her shock when Prim is selected as a tribute her very first year of being entered into the lottery for the Games. The odds for Katniss becoming a tribute are huge, while the odds are against Prim being selected.

From the moment that Prim is picked from the lottery, Katniss’ perception of reality changes. Suddenly betting on the odds is thrown out the window. Her beliefs are crushed by the unlikely event of Prim being drawn from the lottery. Now the author has us hooked and she can show us more of the spunk that makes Katniss likeable to the reader. One such time is when Katniss is ignored during her private training session with the Gamemakers. Her anger gets the better of her and she shoots an arrow into the roast pig which the Gamemakers are about to eat. Then she leaves the stunned group without being officially dismissed. Katniss’ biggest worry isn’t about what punishment will befall her; it’s about what repercussions her action will have on her family. These are just two examples from many about how Katniss’ love for her family is displayed in her actions.

I encourage you to read both The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins and “The Most Important Moment in Your Story” by Larry Brooks. One will entertain you and the other will inform you about writing. Use what you learn to develop your own writing skills in this quarter’s Writing Challenge.

 

Response to Writing Challenge #5

Topic: Why Should I Care?

Since we’re talking about character, let’s combine two exercises into one. Select the characteristics from someone in your own life who you feel strongly about and put them into the below situation. Whether you love them or hate them doesn’t matter; just keep them as close to the real person as possible WITHOUT using any real names. Your goal is two-fold: keep your action moving along the plot graph for 500 words AND show the aspects of your character through their choices and thoughts.

 

The Gift

Georgia picks up a rectal thermometer hanging on a shelf in the Infants Department of Macy’s Department and smiles. “Do you think Angie will understand my commentary on having a baby out of wedlock?” she asks Diane. Diane looks down and giggles softly as she says, “No comment.”⁴⁸

Georgia’s wide smile reveals perfectly aligned false teeth and well-defined crinkles around her blue eyes. She clutches the tables filled with baby blankets, having refused to bring her walker once again. Diane follows close behind her trying to steady Georgia by the elbow. A loud cracking sound vibrates the floor and rattles plastic baby bottles at the end display and the entire store is thrown into darkness. Georgia’s ailing feet betray her and she stumbles forward.

“Mom,” Diane cries out. Her voice is soft, but filled with hysteria. She visualizes Georgia’s round body pitching forward, hitting her head on the corner of some unseen glass shelf. Diane grabs the back of Georgia’s sweater. Georgia catches herself on the table.

“Will you calm down? I’m fine.” The emergency lights sparsely dotting the store ceilings come on in time to show that Georgia just missed toppling over a cardboard display of disposable diapers. The display is still quivering from her impact.²⁰⁸

“If you would at least use your cane I wouldn’t get so worried.”

“You like it; you use it.” Georgia puffs slightly from the exertion and rubs her shoulder from the strain of catching herself. Her coloring has turned yellowish. Diane puts an arm around Georgia’s shoulders and guides her through the dark to a nearby bench. Her own heart pounds madly as she leans against a clothes rack of miniature suits with little ties in primary colors. Before Diane recuperates, Georgia calls out, “Oh look at those cute frilly dresses,” and fairly runs headlong to the display.

“You are going to be the death of me,” Diane announces, shaking her head.

“I loved dressing my girls in pretty pink dresses when you were little.” Georgia wistfully fingers the ruffles remembering special days. “Girls don’t even wear dresses anymore,” and she turns on her heal heading down another dark aisle.³⁵⁷

“Maybe we should just stay still until the lights come back on,” says Diane, catching up with Georgia by a shelf of baby medicine. It is directly under one the emergency lights.

“You still afraid of the dark?” Georgia gives her that mischievous smile again, holding up a baby of baby aspirin. “You know the best birth control? An aspirin held between your knees. Maybe we should give Jane this bottle with a note.” She heads toward the cashier with both the bottle of baby aspirin and the anal thermometer.

“No electricity, no service,” says the cashier. “You’re welcomed to wait it you want.”

“Darn waste of my time,” complains Georgia as she drops the items on the shelf and head for the door. “Let’s go home.”

“Thank God!” says Diane, trying to keep up with her.⁴⁹⁴

 

THE END

 

Writing Challenge #6 Impress Me!

Are you ready to dive in the deep end? I’m hoping some of you will take the plunge and submit the results of this next writing challenge for publication. The risk is drowning in a rejection, but that’s the only way we writers can learn to swim into earning money. Take the plunge; take the chance; toughen your skin up for the long haul!

For this quarter’s writing challenge I’ll refer you to my favorite writers’ newsletter, Fund for Writers. If you don’t already receive this newsletter, I encourage you to subscribe. Hope Clark creates a wonder source of information for all writers struggling to get published. I’ve drawn on information Hope presented in January 11, 2013, Volume 13 Issue 2. Her guest article is “Selling Halloween:Making Money with Spooky Stories” from Steff Green. You may want to read it for additional sources of income for writers.

One of the possible publishers Steff mentions is Tor.com.  I chose them because they pay well (25 cents/word for the first 5,000 words). So let’s sum up that courage, write a decent story, help each other improve it, and submit that story for publication! This story will NOT be published on my Facebook page. It will only be sent to the small group of writers who are currently receiving PD Contributors’’ Corner so we can give and receive suggestions and support to one another.

Story Topic:  a Halloween Horror Story

Number of Words: 5,000 or less

You can use the plot graph below to help you stay on track. Make your character realistic and story spooky. If you’d prefer to try your hand at short articles, read Green’s article and make your own selection. We can still critique each other’s work.

 

 

 

Marketing Yourself

Issue 5: September 2012

Marketing Yourself-Remaking Yourself

I am in the process of remaking myself in order to market my product: my writing and essays. As a creative personality type thinking about marketing is alien to me. Maybe you’re the same way. Maybe the idea of having to work this portion of the writing business frightens and frustrates you. I does me. I don’t think we can avoid this aspect of the business for very long in today’s market, not if we want to make money with our writing. So I will share my progress, or lack thereof, with you in my newsletters.

For the last year I have been concentrating on getting my name, C.Lynn, out on the internet in order to promote my work. The problem I encountered is that there are many C.Lynns out there. There is poet who contributes to Poetry.com with that pen name and an artist in California who also has that pen name. Plus there are others too numerous to name. Since I chose this pen name shortly after I got married in 1974, you can imagine my frustration. Now I find it prudent to select another name for my writing, hopefully one that has less competition on the internet. I decided to “test” the pseudonym Rhodes FitzWilliam. I Googled this name and didn’t find any matching it. Maybe that’s a good start, but I know I have more to do.

Step one of my marketing strategy is simply to learn more about how to do marketing. There are many sources of information about marketing available, just make sure you select a reputable source. Right now I’m using “Marketing”, a free online source produced by the Missouri Small Business & Technology Development Center and the University of Missouri Extension. I’m sure it won’t be the only source I use, but it’s a start and I’ll keep you posted.

Why Should I Care?

Oh, I am late again! This should have been a July issue, but I got distracted again. Well, remember that writing takes discipline and keep trying to perfect it like I do. We’ll all get there one day.

Last issue we talked about the plot graph with its rising action, climax, resolution and denouement or closing.  It is important to keep something happening in our stories so they don’t turn into simply long vignettes. In escapism, plot drives the story. But in literary fiction, characters drive the story. The story will unravel based on how the characters will respond to what is happening in the situation, so it is important to create characters that compel our reader. The story becomes even more interesting if the characters’ ideas are challenged and they must either reaffirm their own beliefs or alter them to incorporate the new situation.

So what makes characters compelling? Call on what you know about people in your own life. What behaviors or beliefs do the people you love and admire possess? What about the ones you really don’t like? People who are real give us the material to work with to create fictional characters that connect to our audience. Characters, like real people, should have aspects you admire and ones you hate. So that character who is compassionate and caring may have bad habits like lying about trivial things. Or the character who is a real jerk to women or people of color may rescue stray dogs and cats. People are complex, so our characters should try to emulate that.

Results of Writing Challenge #4

The Challenge: To Be or Not to Be?

I’m going to give you the first line and the climax for this fourth writing challenge. We’ll extend the word count for this challenge to 1,000 words so you can build a decent story line.

Ken stood on the roof of the Carew Tower in Cincinnati. It was almost midnight and the full autumn moon frowned down from a partially overcast sky.²⁷

Climax: Does Ken jump or not?

You have the first 27 words now finish the “grabber” within 100 words. Remember this is the part where you connect to your audience and give them a reason to keep reading. Then your challenge is to create the background which led Ken to the critical point of considering suicide, which will include Ken’s first conflict at about the 400 word count, the second conflict at around 650 words and the final conflict that leads to the climax at 950 words. After that it’s all downhill (no pun intended). The last 50 words will close the story with some resolution and make your audience glad they read your work.

 

The Story: Carew Tower Jumping

Ken stood on the observation deck of the Carew Tower in Cincinnati. It was almost midnight and the full autumn moon frowned from an overcast sky.²⁶  It glared against a backdrop as black as Ken’s mood. He pulled out a Camel and lite it, drawing a deep suicidal breath. Barb’s petition for divorce was scrunched into a ball in the left pocket of his work uniform. Should he leave a note like Hazel Gundrum did in 1953 before she plunged from the 43^rd floor? “Sorry things didn’t work out. I loved you with all my heart.”⁹⁶

“Sorry it didn’t work out,” didn’t relate the depth of Ken’s sorrow. It didn’t tell Barb that he loved her as much today as when they met at that coffee shop at Miami University. It didn’t tell her how his love only grew when their son was born two years ago or that the affair he had was a meaningless backlash to his need for HER attention.¹⁶³

The walkie on Ken’s hip crackled. “Where are you, numb-nuts? I’ve got a busted pipe in the basement and I’m ankle-deep in water.” Ken flicked the Camel over the edge of the observation deck and watched it sail down to the 16^th floor ledge where Henry Bettman had landed after five years of harassment because McCarthyism labeled him a communist sympathizer. Ken grabbed the walkie from this belt and slung it off the building. “Sorry, Bob. You’re a cool guy to work with, but not tonight.” Nine years of working on the creaking pipes, questionable electric and cheap management was enough. Built in 1930, the Carew Tower had been renovated, but she was still demanding. Oh well, it wasn’t Ken’s problem anymore. The pink slip crumbled in Ken’s shirt pocket testified to that. If he threw himself off the building now, people would compare him to Norma Jean Haller who in 1956 plunged off the ledge of the 29^th floor leaving a note to tell her husband that the “Children will be better off.”³³⁷

The night air turned frigid as it gusted around him. Autumn would give way to winter early this year, just as his life would give way to and early death. Ken stood on the wall and paced in a pantomime of the trapeze artist at the circus where he took Barb and Justin last year. Justin was excited by the sights and sounds and smells which were so new to him, and they were ecstatic to be with each other and to watch Justin’s wonder at it all. They had made love in the back of the mini-van parked at Mount Lookout that night as Justin slept in his car seat. It was something they had never done before and it was a kind of testimony to their growing love. It was hard to believe that only a handful of months passed before Ken made his fatal screw up: a drunken night after an exhausting second shift and a ridiculous tryst with a college girl on a binge. Then Barb found out and her face, once so full of light and love, turned dark and hateful. She would never forgive him.⁵²⁸

Suddenly Ken’s vision blurred, he caught his breath and a dizzy, surreal feeling came over him. He felt the world tilt as his balance swayed out of control toward the tiered floors below and the quite Cincinnati streets. He heard a gentle swooshing of taffeta skirts in the wind and the sound helped him focus. He turned to see an African-American woman in a green formal gown standing a few feet away. Ken looked left, then right. “What the…” he started, and then rethought his words. “What are you doing up here?”⁶²⁰

“I think the better question is, what are you doing up there?” Her voice was like whipped butter, all melty and smooth.

Ken jumped down beside her on the observation deck. “How did you even get up here? The elevator to the 48^th floor is locked and I have the key. Besides, you shouldn’t even be in the building. Where are the security guards?”

Before he could continue the interrogation, she interrupted him. “Jumping off that ledge won’t make you feel any better.”

Ken took a step back. “What…how?”

“I just knew. Let’s leave it at that.” She walked over to the retaining wall with a swooshing of her green gown and looked down. A sigh escaped her and her glistening brown shoulders sagged. Her black hair was pulled up into a tight bun surrounded by lilacs. Ken thought of Barb’s hair, black and shimmering with subtle light as it fell across his face. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying block the image of her silky veil and the icy blue eyes which had contradictory affects on him: exciting him one moment and lulling him into contentment the next. The fresh lilac smell of her filled his nostril’s along with the smell of a freshly washed baby. Justin looked so much like Barb, black hair, pale eyes and pure joy of life. How could he live without them? Would they be better off without him?⁸⁵⁵

“No, they won’t,” the black lady answered. “Ask her forgiveness; she’ll give it to you.” Ken opened his eyes. Brown exotic eyes stared at him.

“I can’t. She won’t.” Ken hung his head, leaning over the retaining wall as if to vomit.

“Have you tried?” Her voice dripped sadness. “Don’t make the same mistake I made. I assumed my husband wouldn’t forgive.”

“Did he forgive you then?”

“I learned that he loved me enough to try again, but it was too late. I had already jumped.”⁹⁴⁵

Ken turned, but she and her green taffeta dress were gone. The Lady in Green wasn’t a just a ghostly tale after all, but she was a friend. Ken headed down the stairs to the 48^th floor and the nearest phone. He wouldn’t wait till it was too late to win Barb’s forgiveness and save his family.⁹⁹⁸

 

The Challenge of the Challenge

I liked the idea of including a little history of the Carew Tower in the story, so I did some online research. It helped me find a legitimate reason for a suicide jumper. Of course, lost love, insanity and public humiliation were the top reasons. Once I settled on love as the motivation for Ken’s planned jump, the words just tumbled out. In fact, too many words tumbled out! So the greatest challenge was to tighten the writing by removing phrases that were unnecessary or redundant. It’s surprising how many times you can repeat yourself without realizing it. Once I had done that, I still had too many words. I realized that I needed to introduce the Lady in Green earlier in the story. Originally she didn’t make an appearance until 800 words. It was way too late! By moving her up the 500s and timing her appearance as Ken was ready to fall, rather than jump off the building, I gave her time to talk Ken out of it. Having her appearance help Ken refocus and prevent him from falling, showed that she good. There is actually a story about the Lady in Green riding in the elevator and simply talking to a security guard, then disappearing. She intrigued me ever since I read the blog about her, so I knew I had to incorporate her into my story.

This whole idea of counting and double checking your plot line has been advantage to my writing and it’s helping me to polish my skills. I hope you find it advantage and fun, too!

 

Writing Challenge #5: Why Should I Care?

Since we’re talking about character, let’s combine two exercises into one. Select the characteristics from someone in your own life who you feel strongly about and put them into the below situation. Whether you love them or hate them doesn’t matter; just keep them as close to the real person as possible WITHOUT using any real names. Your goal is two-fold: keep your action moving along the plot graph for 500 words AND show the aspects of your character through their choices and thoughts.

The Situation: Your character is in a department store shopping for a last-minute gift when an electrical storm shuts down the power. Who is the gift for and how does the character decide what gift is best? How does the character respond? Anger, frustration, fear?

Remember to copy/paste your story into the body of your email with the Writing Challenge # in the subject box and send it to: rhodesfitzwilliam@gmail.com.

Good luck!